Trading a Rolex for a Casio?
Last week Shakira released her latest track which was a very unsubtle swipe at her ex-partner Gerard Pique, or to be more blunt, a “diss track”. Whilst this is a Separation in the public eye, how can this relate to your separation? Our Danielle Stevenson, head of family law here at Caritas Legal, considers this and provides some general information for parents who are separating.
Last week Shakira released her latest track which was a very unsubtle swipe at her ex-partner Gerard Pique, or to be more blunt, a “diss track”. The pair separated in summer 2022, having been in a relationship for 11 years as a result of which they have two children. Gerard Pique has also responded very publicly and the sniping looks set to continue.
While the track and responses could be seen as amusing and shrugged off, it got me thinking about how this kind of post separation behaviour can impact on the children of a relationship.
It’s easy to forget due to their fame that Shakira and Gerard are parents first and foremost to their two children. They will likely be very aware of the news cycle that has followed in the last week and it’s unlikely that this will have been pleasant for their children.
My advice to parents separating is always to keep children out of your disagreements, don’t involve them in adult discussions and don’t be negative about the other parent in front of your children. This includes posts to social media which can be a major issue causing further disagreement between parents, and can also be relied upon if the disagreement ever ends up in the court setting.
Of course, no-one is saying that separating from your spouse or partner is easy, and there may be many upsetting things that happen or are said in the heat of the moment, but the key takeaway for me when advising clients tends to be that this person, because you have children together, is likely to remain in your life for a long time. You may well need to be at family events together, and it would be better for everyone if that could happen in a tolerable, if not positive, atmosphere. It’s also important to remember that your children can be really impacted by the awareness that their parents do not get along and this can cause them to have a lot of weight on their shoulders, not wishing to upset either parent.
It can be helpful to consider mediation if there are specific issues which need to be resolved arising out of the separation or in relation to ongoing arrangements for the care of your children. It can also be worthwhile considering speaking to someone, perhaps a professional, who is not connected to your or your ex-partner or spouse, who can provide support and help you move forward.
Whilst Shakira and Gerard might be caught up in the moment of their current fight, it seems that is has been forgotten that they both will always be the parents of their children and the impact of their actions and words on their children during this situation may be long lasting. Something to think about.
Should you be separating with children and concerned about how best to deal with this, or simply looking for some advice regarding the next steps for your specific situation, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me via: our contact form on this page, by email for the attention of Danielle to email@example.com or calling to make an appointment on 01383 431 101.